The Estate Agent (EN)

And there he was. The boy who ruined his life. He was in front of him and was now a grown-up man. He grew up too, so maybe he didn’t recognise him. But Louis did. Oh, he did. How could he not recognise those bright green eyes, that curly chocolate hair? He quickly made up a forced smile and let him in the house, trying to be as professional as always.
-Welcome, Mr. Styles.- and with that Louis had made, unknowingly, a big mistake.
-Thank you.- simply said the man, who was now looking at him with a curious expression on his face. -Did we meet already? I’m quite sure you look familiar.-
-I’m pretty sure not.- said Louis, lowering his head not to show his sadness and his lying face. Which was pretty obvious according to his whole family and his few friends. He started to show Harry around the house to avoid the topic. It was a luxurious apartment in London, with all the comforts and a wonderful view. Louis was an estate agent and the average cost of the properties he sold for his agency was, well, luxurious. Of course they, as a real estate agency, sold more affordable properties too, but that was his part. He started from the very bottom of the chain and somehow, working hard, he got to the high section of it. He even started to become a “wealthy man”. He didn’t like the term, though. He preferred “businessman” because he had an assistant. Yeah, he was that childish (maybe that’s why he had an assistant).
-And, this is the lounge.-
The room was the “must” of the apartment due to an all-glass wall which poured a lot of light inside the room and offered a really wonderful view of the city at every time of the day and night. Harry, indeed, remained astonished. They stayed a couple minutes in silence, looking through the glass at the busy city.
-You agents usually ask a lot of personal questions, but you don’t.-
-I guess I just don’t like being invasive.- Louis thought it over. He usually did that too, it’s a selling technique, but Harry… Well, he didn’t want to know about him.
-You know me, don’t you?- asked Harry bluntly, after another little silence.
-What? I’m sorry, sir, I don’t…-
-But you called me “Mr. Styles” so you do. Cause that’s my name.-
-It was written in the form I was given.- tried Louis, even if he didn’t remember reading it. He would have recognized the name. He would have been prepared.
-It wasn’t. My…- He trailed off and took a deep breath. -Another person filled in the forms and he gave his name.-
-Oh. Well, so I guess there’s no point in faking anymore…- Louis hesitated and added: -Harry.-
Harry smiled softly. -I said you looked familiar. I kind of remember your face… That’s progress indeed. You were someone important to me, weren’t you?-
Louis thought about their high school life. Important my ass. Harry bullied him for years, so what the hell was he saying? -Why… Why are you talking this way? If you recognized me then you should know who I am.- Louis furrowed his eyebrows in confusion but he was also getting a bit annoyed at the man’s attitude.
-Oh so you don’t know I…-
-You what?- Louis pressed, trying to hold himself back.
-I… I’m sorry, don’t get mad at me.- Harry flinched at Louis’ angered expression and tried to find an easy way to explain things without sounding dumb. He fidgeted with his fingers and glanced at the man in front of him. Those clear light-blue eyes wanted an explanation and he felt like he owed him, so he just went with it and gave himself a try. -I kind of… I got in a really bad accident last year and I lost my memory. Like, everything. I still don’t remember anything before the accident. The doctors said I should be able to regain it but even though my family and friends tried to help, I didn’t. I just know what they told me… That’s why I’m moving back here, by the way. They hope that by being in the places of my childhood I can gain something back. And you… I’m sorry, I have no clue who you are, but I do remember you. I can recall your face. Your eyes… And I feel like you were important to me.-
-I was no one to you. I was nothing but a punching bag!- Louis snapped. -You hated me.-
Harry’s eyes went wide in shock. Without knowing why, he asked hesitantly: -Did you… Did you hate me, too?-
Louis wanted so bad to say yes but he stared at Harry and he couldn’t do anything else but shake his head and let the words flood. -I didn’t… I couldn’t. I had the biggest crush on you, I couldn’t have hated you even when you insulted me and you punched me. I hated myself because I was so damn in love with you and you didn’t do anything else but hurt me.-
-God I… I’m so so sorry! I didn’t…- Harry trailed off and whispered. -I was an asshole, wasn’t I? They didn’t tell me.- He sighed and glanced at Louis. A flashback of them in high school hit him and, oh, he didn’t exactly “hate” the boy. But how could he make it up to the man after all that time?
Louis didn’t answer. There was no need to. He was a mess of feelings. He could barely stand up. A part of him never forgot the boy and still loved Harry, another grew to hate him and a last one now sorts of pitied him for what he went through with the accident. He didn’t know if he was about to cry or punch the guy.
-Can we talk?- Harry was still hesitant.
-I don’t know.- quickly said Louis, wrapped in his thoughts.
-Yeah, I… I get it. I should probably go… I’ll think about the apartment, it’s…- the man was heading towards the door.
-Wait!- Louis called him back and stepped closer to him. -I…- he trailed off, not really knowing what to say. Harry was looking at him hopefully. -I don’t know what I feel for you right now, but if talking to me can help you then I guess it’s okay.-
-What about a coffee?- Harry offered with a shy smile.
Louis nodded and sheepishly smiled back. They headed out and went to a bar, walking in silence, both trying to figure out how they felt about the situation and what they were going to do. Even if for completely different reasons it was hard for both of them. Louis didn’t know what he was going to tell Harry. Could he tell him the truth? That he was the biggest asshole ever? He probably should but didn’t want to break the man. He probably had already went through a lot. And, honestly, when he spitted out that thing about bullying he noticed how Harry’s eyes went wide in shock and didn’t really want to see it again. Besides he never really got over him, and seeing Harry again, all grown and handsome… He basically fell in love at first sight. Again. Harry, instead, was going back in his mind to see again those few moments his memory regained and all the new informations that came with them. He sank in the emotions he felt back then, but things changed, he wasn’t a boy anymore and wasn’t going to react the same way. All he had to do was try to explain things to Louis and hope he didn’t get too mad. He surely was going to be, and rightly so, but hopefully it would blow out quickly. They made it to the bar and ordered two coffees. It was awkward at first: both wanted to stare at the other without being caught. Which was kind of hard to do, so they spared a glance at each other, blushed, smiled and turned their eyes away in sync for a few seconds. Until Harry spoke.
-I’m 28, you’re 30. We should really act our age and stop being childish.-
-It’s not exactly an easy situation…-
-I know but we should just talk it out, I guess.-
-Fine, well, what do you want to know?-
-I don’t know… I…- Harry didn’t know what to say but suddenly an idea occurred. -I have an idea. But I want to know about you first. You left high-school and went to a college in London, didn’t you?-
-Yeah, I did. You left two years later for New York, instead.-
-Yep. What did you do?-
-I studied economics at university and graduated, then started working for the Royal Real Estate Agency after about a year. I was pretty good, so promotion after promotion, I got there.-
-Did you have any… relationship?-
Louis was taken off guard and hesitated. -I… yes. I had a boyfriend for a while at university, but, uh, yeah. And I… I had some one-night stands, if they count in your question. What about you?- Louis didn’t even realize Harry remembered his age and college nor that he didn’t freak-out when he mentioned his boyfriend. But Harry simply smiled and answered.
-I don’t really know what I did, but they told me I studied medicine and worked as a researcher. Now, I can’t work if I don’t remember anything, so I’m… doing nothing. I, apparently, had a girlfriend at college, then questioned and went for boys. I had a boyfriend at work, he’s a chemist, but he broke up with me because he couldn’t manage my memory loss.-
-You’re gay?- Louis simply said, ignoring everything else. He tried not to get mad, but it was kind of hard. Harry knew it.
-Yes, I am.-
-So you’re that kind of an asshole.-
-I was.-
-I can’t believe it. You sent me to the nurse several times because I was openly out. Because you were gay too. Were you jealous or something?-
-I… I can’t remember what I felt.- lied Harry. -I’m sorry.- he lowered his head and fidgeted with his fingers.
-I’m… I don’t know what to say. Really, you… Gosh.- Louis hid his face in his hands and tried to bring order in his mind. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.
-I lied.- admitted Harry, shutting his eyes as if expecting a slap across the face. Louis sighed in annoyance. -I’m actually regaining something about you. I… I do remember.-
Louis hands dropped and his eyes flickered to Harry’s, now slightly open. He stood up and mumbling something about needing fresh air went out of the bar. He didn’t want to know what Harry remembered about him. Harry slowly went to the cashier and paid both coffees. He turned to see where Louis was and sighed deeply.
The cashier smiled. -Heart matters?- she asked softly.
He turned back to her but wasn’t really looking at her. -Yeah, something like that, but it’s all my fault. I was an asshole.-
-It’s a step forward, knowing you were.- she laughed.
-But it’s complicated. I was a stupid kid in love, scared of his feelings towards another boy, and instead of figuring them out I treated him like shit. I can’t blame him if he hates me or something, I just… I don’t know how to tell him.- Harry paused and watched his own hands, thus not noticing the cashier, who was staring behind him since he had started talking. Louis had come back inside and got behind him right when he said he was a stupid kid in love. -In a way,- mumbled Harry -I still love him.- realizing in that moment that Louis was the key. They say if you lose your memory and don’t get it back even if you can, it’s because there’s something you don’t want to remember. Maybe he didn’t want to remember those feelings he couldn’t process at the time. He didn’t want to remember how he treated the boy. But seeing him slowly brought it all back anyway. -I don’t know if I should tell him, nor how.-
-Well,- the cashier paused, her eyes flickering between the two. -I think you just did anyway.-
Harry’s eyes went wide in shock, again. He became conscious of Louis’ presence behind him and slowly turned. Louis was just standing there, petrified, not knowing what to do or say.
-How… How much did you hear?-
-Pretty much everything I think.-
-Oh. So, now… What?-
-I don’t know. Let’s have a walk, there’s a place I want to show you.-
Harry smiled truly for the first time that day and Louis was finally able to see his dimples, after 12 years (of dreaming them). The two waved at the cashier and went out. Louis led Harry to their old high-school.
-It was your first day.- started Louis, leaning on the gates. -You were just a kid, you were 14 or 15. I was there,- he pointed at the side of the entrance door, across the yard. -with a friend of mine, Zayn. He’s still my best friend. Dark skin, black hair, badass attitude?-
Harry shook his head. He didn’t remember him. Louis just went on talking.
-Your mum pulled in the street and you went out of the car clinging onto your elder sister, Gemma. I already knew her because she was in one of my classes. She was so annoyed with you because you were kind of scared.- Louis giggled a bit and Harry started to remember things, as he talked. -I found you so cute with those big bright green eyes of yours and that curly hair that looked like a bush more or less. I even pointed you out to Zayn. I don’t know if you noticed me that day. I observed you for a while. You made some friends the first few days and you were ok, then one day I saw you with the bullies. There were Steve and Ryan… I don’t know how they got you into it, but you slowly became one of them. I got scared, because they tried punching me because I was gay, but I fought back and it wasn’t that much of a problem, but they were my age and you were so little and so cute… I was afraid if you started on me, I wouldn’t fight back. And, you did at some point. Zayn always said I was an idiot and he was damn right, but I didn’t want to hurt you… I was slowly falling for you since day one. In those few years I just let you do whatever you wanted with me. Zayn and I graduated, and your sister too. We all ended up in the same college, but after two years, when you graduated, your family moved to New York. I knew it thanks to Gemma, but then I lost all contacts with her. With you.-
Harry was watching him and their old school, taking in those words and the memories that slowly came to his mind. He was getting almost everything back. He remembered about his school life and about Gemma and his friends. He could finally see what his sister told him they did.
-Could you… Can you please hold my hand?- Harry asked quietly, trembling for the large amount of information he got back in so little time. Louis took his hand without hesitation. -I’m overwhelmed.-
Louis hugged him and soothed him. -It’s okay Harry. It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in, I know. You can take your time, don’t worry. It’s going to be okay.-
-I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, Louis!-
-It’s okay, time passed. We’re different now.-
-Not that much. You’re still that wonderful and really handsome guy I unwillingly fell for. What changed is that I’m cool with it now.-
Louis was glad they were still hugging, so Harry wouldn’t see him blushing like crazy. They let go of each other and started walking again in silence. Louis casually grabbed Harry’s hand again and never let go of it. They walked by the apartment Louis showed Harry earlier that day and Louis asked about it.
-It’s really cool, but it’s too big for me. I was supposed to go there with my boyfriend. It was him who looked it up first…-
-You’ll find another one.- Louis smiled.
-Another apartment or another boyfriend?-
Louis laughed. -Your choice.-
-Okay… Would you go out with me? Like, on a date?-